laugh out loud
By Promise Danny

About this book

1) Surviving in Nigeria is not easy at all, Someone online wants to sell a fridge with no door to me, he is convincing me to use a curtain. 2) I bought Gucci boxer for N9,000 and you expect me wear it under my trouser? Hell NO!.....Abeg ooo If you see someone dress like superman on the streets just know that its me 3) I'm in my neighbor's house and they are about to eat, i’m seeing 4plates and we are 5, I wonder who is not hungry. 4)...Dating a fat girl is fun, until u carry her and trow her on the bed and the bed divides like the red sea. 5)..Your girlfriend smashed your iPhone and so what? She's worth more than that, just hug her and whisper into her ears "what designer of wheelchair do you like? 6) The best way to propose to a girl take her in a boat to the middle of the sea and say" ifeoma will u marry me or u leave my boat" 7) Nigerian goats will be chewing and be looking at you seriously,as if they are expecting you to greet them first......I no understand again o. 8) Nothing person no go see o, how can a tenant dog chase landlord away from his own compound 9) Am done watching Indian movies! Imagine, A Teacher caught a student with Expo and they started dancing. 10) Imagine after having sex you heard some children from the window saying "Let's go they have finished" 11) Lagos traffic eh Before u visit your pregnant wife at d hospital the child will be celebrating his 2yrs old birthday 12)I introduced my landlord to betnaija and we're both homeless now 13) If you have Dimples it will show Stop Bending your mouth as if you have partial stroke. 14) Some people will come to the ATM and still ask "is it paying?" No, we came to vote for Buhari again 15) Me: Call me later I'm driving.. Then the people in the bus looked at me, as if I am talking to them* 16) If I don't find true love before the end of this year, I will look for a happy married couples and join them, I can't continue like this. When giving directions, what do you Nigerians mean by "do as if you are going left, then go right"? I should do as if? 17) "I miss you" "I miss you too" That's the national anthem for long distance relationships. "I wish you are here" is the chorus 18) ON THE ALTAR,,,PASTOR VOMITTED RICE AND BEANS WITH EGG ON THE LAST DAY OF SEVEN DAYS DRY FASTING,,,,, FATHER LORD!!.. 19) My wedding vow will be simple and short.. "Eunice, as I'm about to marry u, please don't kill me before my time" 20) I opened biscuit You threw your chewing gum away, Olojukokoro,,,,,, you better go and pick up 21) The kind of dogs at warri are disastrous... just pick 10naira on the floor and it'll chase u to the police station 22) You don't know struggle if you never had a phone charger that only charges when you bend it in a certain way 23) So this morning our bus wanted to take off and this woman started preching with this topic *"Prepare to meet God"*. I quietly came down, you and who? 24) She updated her profile pic and her mother commented: “whose clothes are u wearing 25) You are raising a hand to beat your gf/wife, A hand you never raised in class to answer a question shame on you 26) .*New year promo!! I sell refrigerators for #6000 You can still use it for wardrobe if it's not working 27) On The Day Of My Ex's Weddin' I'll Patiently Wait For The Pastor To Say You May Now Kiss The Bride Then I'll Shout Snake Snake.* 28) I'm still keeping my Ex's photos. I want to show my kids how Satan looks like.* 29) So because you are cooking Rice and chicken i cannot knock to tell you am the one that removed your cloth from rain.* 30) I have never seen someone having heart beat than a guy who impregnate a soldier daughter. He'll start chewing water, end up drinking rice 31) Just because I wanted to arrange the meat in the pot, my mummy slapped me) 32) I remember the last time I had a broke up i was looking for my shoe in the fridge) 33) I went to a yoruba restaurant and ordered for fact to cut the story short I NEED A NEW TONGUE 34) The way I'm broke now. I thinking of selling our dog i will do the barking at night 35) A lady went to a salon to dress her hair. While dressing her hair, she noticed a handsome man sitting quietly in the shop. Suddenly the lady turned to the man and said Mr., you are so handsome can we meet later today? Man replied 'I'm married'. The woman continued; "and so? You can just tell your wife you're going to visit a friend in the hospital and from there"......... and the man replied; ​"Tell her yourself, she's the one doing your hair".​ 36) If her armpits are hairly let her sleep outside since she want to be a wild Animal Wanna read more? Purchase for only#200 Or email me@: So that I can send you the complete book via email Noticed an error in this book? Send a mail to to report it

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