Anita Ogunleye is also known by her Pen name She Heals. She is a writer, life coach and Podcaster. Her books include Chasing Destiny, More Than I... more
Showing 3 of 3 books
Almost every girl has this dream. The dream of a young, tall, handsome, rich prince coming up to ask for her hand in marriage. She says yes, then he rides off with her into the sunset, and they live happily ever after. The funny thing, I wasn't like most girls, I wanted something different. As expected, the week before the wedding, my numerous aunts threw me a spinster party. One said, “It is delightful to lose your virginity on your wedding night. Your husband will be proud and cherish you for eternity.” Another added; “Like a virgin, you are a blank canvas for your husband to draw his unique design on. He finally gets to do it every day, your body will yearn for him, even when he isn't there.” Wow! They painted a picture that made me want to run to him right then, I couldn’t wait. So, on my wedding night, which was my first time, I was a bit nervous, but I was looking forward to making love, from all the sweet things I heard will happen. I kept my virginity for twenty years plus, and now I was about to give it away to the one and the only man with whom I believed I would spend the rest of my life. Yet despite all my expectations, something happened along the way that would change the essence of my marriage forever. To understand what happened and the need for this confession. I must start from the beginning. My name is Lola, and this is my story.
Peterside felt God must have a great sense of humour when he revealed that his destiny was across great waters. If not, why would he choose to put his destiny across great waters knowing full well how fearful he was of waters having watched his childhood friend drown as a young boy. Peterside was determined to be the hero of his destiny: whether he had to swim to get there or walk until his feet blistered. Having to confront every obstacle imaginable were the best and worst times of his life. He was not one afraid of challenges. He knew he had a purpose in life, and he would give his all to attain it. He wanted to strike while the iron was still extremely hot! He had to ‘lean on his own understanding’ as a young man who had lots of years ahead of him. His time had come, and nothing was going to stop him. Come petrifying great waters, come deadly Nubian snakes, come scary Bedouin, come monstrous sandstorms, come killer pirates, even trigger-happy guards and crazy boat captains…. He was determined to get to his destiny as predicted. But one thing he forgot to take into account; Man proposes, but God disposes.
Seeing what it did to people around did not make a difference. You know what they say about greed, lust, covetousness and lack of contentment. They are cancers that eat deep into you and hang on like leeches. They don't let go until you make a conscious effort to accept you have a problem, seek divine help and pray you are delivered. But despite being knowledgeable about these things, we sometimes live in denial. The truth is I always prided myself on having self-control and knowing right from wrong. I was able to accept my faults and try to do something about them. Especially when it came to the kind of example my father was setting for me. I remember growing up with a father who would not keep his eyes in one place; he chased everything in skirts. At some point, I realised how much he was hurting my mother and asked him why he had to keep stepping out on her. His response was Laughter, followed by a weird look at me as if I was delusional. As I listened to him try to explain the reason why he cheated, I could not believe the words coming out of his mouth. My father, an elder in the church, whom everyone respected and looked up to. I knew he should not act this way. How can he have two personalities? However, on that day, I realised Chief Benson, my father, had cancers, as the pastor called it, and he didn’t even know. He had lust and covetous cancer; that was my conclusion. So I decided I was not going to be like my father. However, something happened and I found myself biting off more than I could chew,